Taking care of your child, aka to raise your child, is to elevate your child to the highest position of potential. You want to raise your boy to become a man. You want your girl to become a woman. To do this, we need to know what each gender needs.
Raise All Children With…
- Thankfulness toward Allah.
- Integrity, by having strong moral principles motivated by conviction, not comfort or convenience.
- Strength doesn’t only mean knowing how to throw a hard punch but holding your temper to know when it is needed.
- Courage is to stand up against our fears and what might be difficult, along with knowing when to take the risk or not.
- Independence doesn’t mean being alone or freedom from others, but it is depending only on Allah, who has all control and no one else.
- Leadership is gained and not given. You are a leader when you serve everyone and not the other way around.
- Assertiveness means controling ourselves by being honest and respectful, not forceful rude behaviour and creating conflict.
- Responsibility by performing a task as best as possible and accepting the results of your actions.
- Love because humans have emotions, to maintain relationships, and be committed to one another.
- Honor by having a good reputation in self respect and a drive to continue what is morally right.
- Protection by physically defending and keeping safe what is important and avoiding harmful things.
- Provision where we gather and use supplies because Allah will ask us about what, why and how we spend or disgard it.
- Nurturance where extra attention and support is provided for both physical and emotional needs.
- Sensitivity means not to be upset and negative but the ability and awareness to respond to stimulation and changes, positivily.
- Sweetness by haveing good manners and to be joyous, kind, and gentle.
- Supportiveness by showing you want to help and encourage what is happening.
- Warmth where comfort and relaxation is found.
- Passivity not meaning a lack of initiative, rather the reliance on and trusting upon finding effective support from others, even when not needed.
- Cooperativeness is taking turns working or acting together willingly for a common purpose or benefit.
- Expressiveness, to make meaningful, clear, and reveal what is hidden.
- Modesty, to limit in amount and not assume it limits in ability.
- Humility, where Allah is most great and we need Allah, not because we have low self regard, but because we regard ourselves favorable and advantageous with Allah.
- Empathy by understanding and acknowledging the situation, even when there is no interest in the matter.
- Emotions for expressing one’s inner self and to be in touch with the identity and soul.
- Kindness by benefiting others before yourself and wanting good for others as you want good for yourself, not because you’re a pushover but because you’re happy to do it.
- Helpful, because the best is who gives and not who takes.
- Devotion representing the time and effort put in something and regarded as worthwhile top priority.
- Understanding through communication, where listening and speaking is exchanged for the purpose of sharing information.
Raise Boys To Be Men
Men are “Qawwam” over women
Men are raised to be responsible for right conduct, safeguard, and maintenance of women.
They stand up for womem, a sheild, to be constantly engaged and activily involved in the affairs of women needs.
To commit to the relationship with women, to hold together, be consistant, and depended on for women.
If a boy is raised to be Qawwam, he appreciates the woman by giving value to her, provides advice, and mentors them.
The men are responsible about money and all financial needs of women.
A wife away from her family, her father and mother who protected her, needs this reponsibility to be passed on to the husband.
Raise Girls To Be Women
Righteous women are “Kanatat”
Women are raised to be willing to listen and comply with an order or request from authority, with respect to Allah’s command.
They are a source of peace, why tempers go down, and why voices are lowered, maintaining calm environments.
They provide reasoning and end all conflicts in the family, they do not fan the fire.
Women gaurd against what their husband doesn’t approve of when he’s out, protecting the family.
Women don’t keep secrets from their husband and preserve the family’s privacy.
We Owe Allah To Raise Good Children
When raising children, parents can make mistakes.
We choose to worship Allah by being the best version we can possibly be, to the best of our ability, for success for our own selves.
And based on our gender that Allah created us with, we fulfil what we owe to Allah.
Allah created our children, and parents owe Allah to raise children the best way.
Allah will then judge us all on the day of resurrection, when we return to Allah, to be held accountable for our deeds, be they good or bad.
Good deeds will bring us closer to Allah and heaven, promised to those who work hard in the first life.
Think more about what we owe and not who owes us back.
Because as humans, when we don’t get our rights, we don’t want to do what we owe others, thus we don’t do good deeds, thus we fall victim to wronging ourselves.
It’s hard to remind ourselves to do what we owe more than to get what we’re owed, but the good news is Allah promises justice for everyone in the second life.
My Opinion
Each gender has strengths and weaknesses.
Each should dedicate themselves to Allah.
The two genders complete one another and create balance.
A man is the head of the household, a woman is the heart of it.
Regardless of gender, all children should grow up learning about Allah.
They should know that Allah created us and we all worship Allah.
This is the environment that every child deserves to live in.
Then they should understand their roles as a man and as a woman.
Parents lead by setting good examples.
