What is a life skill?
Having life skills means having tools needed for survival in life.
They are the power ups that we achieve to make our lives easier.
Just like a video game, a player starts with basic abilities like moving right, moving left, jumping, and holding an inventory of items.
As the game progresses, you find different skills that increase your power, making your gameplay easier and raises your success to win that level.
It’s nice to have a run ability, a double jump, and hold a sword or extra heart life.
Real life is somewhat similar, where all humans by defult can sleep, drink milk, pee and poop, and make sounds when they are babies.
Then parents introduce solid food for eating, use the bathroom, sleep decreases for daily activities, and we learn words for speaking.
As a muslim, I believe we have two lives.
One in this first life and a second in the next life after death.
That means there are two sets of life skills that I think are important to learn and teach.
1) The functioning life skills needed to be functioning humans and perform daily tasks.
2) The purposeful life skills needed to help these tasks become purposeful, become worship, and give us good deeds to enter paradise.
Both depend on each other for success and survival.
Relying on one and leaving the other will create imbalance and unhappiness.
Both used together will help us battle the tests we have and navigate both lives successfuly, by pleasing Allah in both lives.
The functioning life skills
These set of skills are what we aquire to live easily in our first life.
You will find these first set of life skills on many blogs.
I conviniently read a whole bunch of blogs and summarized 20 points for you here.
1) Emotional skills
Children learn they have control of their internal situation even when they can’t change the external circumstances.
A child feels angry that someone is rude, but they learn to control their anger and speak with respect.
A child’s pet dies, but they can control whether to complain about it or pray it goes to heaven.
2) Money managment skills
Children learn money comes from hard work, time, and effort. They learn about why we use money regarding needs, wants, budgeting, saving, and value of price.
A child decides to spend money to buy something on that day or save money to spend it on something better for the future.
3) Critical thinking skills
The opposite of having children repeat back and follow a prepared set of steps. Instead children learn to think and reason for themselves by themselves.
Children are subjected to all types of information and thus make creative connections between different ideas of knowledge from different disciplines.
This prepares children to solve any potential problem in the real world as they come up with solutions and form their own opinions.
They will have independent confidence to trust their own thinking when they are asked to do things they don’t want to do, resisting peer pressure.
4) Problem solving
Parents shouldn’t always rush to solve their children’s problems for them.
Children first learn to identify the problem. Second, they come up with all kinds of solutions, no matter how silly they might seem.
Next, identify the pros and cons for each solution. Then pick a solution. Finally, test it out. Try another solution if the previous one did not work.
Sometimes it’s important to know that there are some problems in life that we can’t solve, and the best thing to do is to accept it and learn to live with it.
These problems are beyond our control, so focus on what you can control, maintain emotionally supportive relationships, and find coping strategies.
5) Etiquette and good behavior skills
Learn to say please and thank you. Taking turns and sharing. Hands to yourself. Screaming means danger not fun. Chew food with your mouth closed. Eye contact. etc.
6) Organizing skills
Children learn sorting or categorizing different items. Use to-do lists. Don’t shove or throw things in the closet or on the bed, put them back where they belong.
7) Dealing with stress skills
Know that stress is a normal part of life that pushes us to overcome a challenge. Stress is not supposed to cause anxiety and poor health.
Stress happenes when things don’t go your way, there’s lack of control, limited understanding, unexpected changes.
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. So if there isn’t really any danger, just difficulty in life, remind yourself you’re ok.
Accept the reality of a stressful situation, don’t deny it and avoid self blame and giving up on trying to fix it.
Learn to point out what is going right. Work on what is going wrong until it is no longer something stressful.
Structure focus for cooperation, not competition and comparison. You’re battle should be against yourself.
Create positive relationships where people acknowledge feelings.
8) Relationship skills
Children learn the difference between relationships at home, at school, and public places.
At home, family relationships provide for the basic necessities of life. It’s the strongest and most secure, offering unconditional support, forgiveness, and love.
At school, children learn to make freinds. Freinds provide a sense of conditioned belonging and identity. It is the time one learns order and stability for themselves.
Relationships concerning public places are meant for a temporary time, so avoid sharing private information with stangers and acquaintances. Small talk is adviced.
9) Safety skills
Always ask for permission. Stay in crowds not alone. Don’t search for your parent when lost, it is best to stay where you are. Calling 911 in an emergancy.
Don’t take something from someone for no reason. Learn to read signs and lables. Ask questions. Listen more than you speak. Learn parents phone numbers.
Stop, drop, and roll in a fire. Talk to strangers with parents permission. No secrets from mom and dad. Private areas are private. Learn to say no.
10) Cooking skills
Pour yourself a bowl of cereal and milk. Make a sandwitch. Wash an apple. Set and clear the table. Mixing ingredients. Press the 1 minute microwave button. etc.
11) Online skills
Electronics are in the living room, not bedrooms. No sharing private information. Respect. Time limit. Awarness of scams, ads, download links, sudden messages. etc.
12) Cleaning skills
Helping taking out the trash. Dusting. Washing the dishes. Folding the laundry. Wiping the table. Brooming the floor. Replacing toilet paper and towels. etc.
13) Planting and pet skills
Watering the plants. Snipping the dead leaves off. Feeding the pet. Cleaning out the pet’s cage. Playing with the pet. Training the pet.
14) First aid skills
Bleeding. Choking. Head insury. Burns. Broken bone. Allergy. Not breathing. etc.
15) Navigational skills
Memorise parents phone number. Know the home address. Recognize familiar landmarks and buildings. Know your right and left. Read and follow a map. etc.
16) Communication skills
Learn to listen for understanding. Learn to speak respectfully. Share and recieve information. Maintain a respectful tone of voice that’s not too high or low.
17) Personal hygiene skills
Eat well. Sleep comfortably. Exersize. Shower. Brush your teeth. Brush your hair. Change your clothes. Wash your hands with soap and water. Wipe nose with tissue.
18) Self-defense skills
Stay in a group. Use a strong voice. Walk away from the fight if you can. Use objects around you as weapons. Hold yourself up, shoulders back, stay alert. etc.
19) Time Management skills
Learn to tell time. Use a visual timer. Create a schedule and develop a routine. Break tasks into smaller parts. Limit distractions. Practice waiting. Set priorities.
20) Independent skills
This involves being able to do things on their own. There are certain tasks parents shouldn’t have to do. Give daily chores. Develop a sense of accountability.
Ordering at a restaurant. Picking out what they want to wear or eat. Children put away their toys. Plan for the next day together. Give choices. etc.
The purposeful life skills
These set of skills are aquired to help make our second life a reward, the one that lasts forever.
We need these life skills to help us maintain our worship, to keep choosing correctly, and do good deeds.
They establish our relationship with Allah.
1) Be greatful
Remind yourself of Allah and his gifts as much as you can.
Observation makes people think.
2) Say “In the name of Allah”
Allah mentioned the word bismilallah, which is the first verse of the Quran, and in the chapter al-Fatiha.
3) Say “Allah willing”
The Quran says in the 18th chapter, Surah Al-Kahf. “And never say of anything, ‘Indeed, I will do that tomorrow,’ except [when adding], If Allah wills”
4) Believe in Allah & Do good deeds
These two always go together.
Good deeds are a true witness to the stability of faith in the heart, where words are confirmed by deeds.
Good deeds without believing in Allah is the same as believing that something is true and then not practicing what is believed to be true.
Believing in Allah means you believe your deeds are acknowledge, have purpose, and you know why you are doing what you are doing.
5) Strive to be on Allah’s straight path
The Path of Allah, to Whom belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth.
It’s the same as having a bodyguard with you and no one can mess with you cause you have ultimate power with you.
Any other path means you are on your own and left to your own defenses.
Allah is the best source of anything for everything.
6) Continuous learning and improvement
Allah says to humans in the quran “read” and it’s the first word ever said by Allah sent from angle Gabriel to our beloved prophet Mohammad peace be upon him.
Allah wants us to ask questions and look at and comprehend the meaning of life on earth.
And Say: My lord, Increase me in knowledge”.
We as humans should each be a person with a high degree of knowledge or skill in a particular field.
Muslims have travelled to seek knowledge, which is a part of jihad in the cause of Allah, that a person leaves his country and beloved ones, exhausts his body, and
studies night and day.
A believer searches for wisdom and it is his right to find the abundance of Allah, to improve the world for and on behalf of Allah.
7) Do what is beautiful
Allah is beautiful and loves those who do what is beautiful.
This can help remind us to stay good and pure in our actions, and to strive towards being the best Muslims.
8) Limit desires in accordance with needs
Humans are instructed not to disturb the balance of the living and non-living things.
We should protect use these two means properly, ruling the world in compliance with Allah’s laws and not to go to extremes.
Exploit the creation of Allah in a moderate way and make full use of and derive benefit from the resource.
9) Do what you say you will do
Islam is a religion of action and itqan (perfection) of deed.
Muslim turns words to an action plan, then to executive procedures upon which to abide by the commands of Allah.
This will increase your credibility, build trust, and honesty.
Verily, Allah loves that when anyone does something, they do it perfectly.
10) Understand the life of prophet Adam and prophet Mohammad peace and blessings be upon them both
Adam is our father, the first prophet, and the first human being, taught by Allah directly how to live.
Mohammad is the last prophet and chosen for all humanity to follow his sayings (hadith) and descriptions in the way of life (sunna) according to Allah’s word.
Their lives are an instruction book for success.
11) Don’t sepperate the first life and the next life, they should be balanced and used together
When we make dua, we should ask Allah to please bless us in both this life and the next life, and make us among those who are greatful.
Do not think that skipping the first set of life skills is correct.
Humans are not only made for the second life after death.
Humans need to know how to balance the work of this life and the work of the next life together, or else we would be no different than the angels who do worship.
Angels are the ones who pray all the time, do tasbeeh, make dua, and all that stuff, because they are unable to do the worldy tasks in this dunya life.
We are on earth for a purpose, to be a Khalifa.
Humans were not made for serving human desires.
Hedonism is the belief that pleasure, or the absence of pain, is the most important principle in determining the morality of a potential course of action.
Humans are the vicegerent of Allah, that is, a Khalifa on earth, for the reward of paradise.
